Hello again.
I am alive and well in Australia.
Maybe I should not leave a blog unattended for so long after announcing I’m about to go on a big trip because it may seem like one of the flights didn’t have the success rate we all hope for.
But yes I’ve been the UK and come back to Brisbane.
Time in the UK was very nice. British beer is still far superior to Aussie beer. But we all knew that. Also I saw friends and family and that, I guess that should get a mention.
Here is some new information I have gathered from Australia.
They have the RSPCA here too. Makes sense what with all the animals and that. There is one crucial difference I’ve noticed. Here in Australia the RSCPA approve meat too. For example, head to Woolworths (Aussie Supermarket, not the Noughties throwback) and you can buy a Peri Peri RSPCA Approved Whole Chicken. Now this is not some high and mighty stance I have, I eat chicken with the best of them, but having grown up in a country where the RSPCA don’t do that, it does feel like someone in the Australian office of the charity has somewhat dropped the ball here. So still getting my head around an RSPCA that oversees chicken slaughter.
It's a bit like if you were travel to another country and say another reputable charity like Amnesty International were like “Yep sure thing Human Rights for everyone absolutely yes please but also we approve the soft furnishings for death row to make sure everyone is comfortable”.
My working day has changed which has been nice for my sleep pattern. I’ve been moved from the Breakfast Show to the Drivetime show. What it has meant is that I get a far more normal sleeping pattern but it is more difficult to keep in touch with home.
So if you are in the UK and reading this - please could you say hello to the Queen for me and congratulations to Piers Morgan on his new show for what I imagine has been an absolute ratings smash.
One thing I have seen from back in the UK is that Matt Hancock is coming here to Queensland to take part in I’m A Celebrity: Get Me Out of Here.
I think it’s a good move by him. If you don’t want the general public to think you’re a prick - go on national television every night and stand next to Chris Moyles. That’ll do the job.
Spring has sprung here in Queensland. Spring isn’t the same as it is in the UK. Other than the obvious juxtaposition to advent calendars hitting the shops, the nature stuff ain’t the same either.
Haven’t seen any daffodils. So instead of daffodils what happens? Well Magpies decide to randomly attack people - mainly cyclists. That’s right it’s gets very Hitchcock’s The Birds around here. The magpies swoop anyone who they deem a threat to their nest. I like how they target specifically cyclists too as if they’ve been listening to too much opinion-led speech radio. The ‘Maggies’ seem to be very anti-woke which historically does add up.
The trivia company that runs the pub quiz I attend have stopped returning my emails about poorly worded questions. More on that in the future.
The past two evenings have been great. I’ve watched England beat New Zealand in the T20 World Cup at the Gabba and last night I saw a ripping set by George Ezra on the city’s beautiful River Stage. All I need now is a skiing trip and then I can progress from my Provisional Middle Class White Man Licence to a full one.
One probable reason for the lack of blog posts of late is due to a television show we have been watching which I don’t think they have in the UK. The Block on Channel 9 sees five couples given five dilapidated houses, hundreds of thousands of dollars for the chance to take place in huge renovation projects and some of the most down your throat product placement you’ve ever seen. The show is on four nights a week and has run for three months and they’ve done well to fit in a lot of drama really. I know I would run out of ideas pretty quickly and have an episode dedicated to watching the paint dry.
But we have had our own little renovation project as we have converted our Garage into a Tiki Sports Bar. Fortunately for you I lack the relevant skills or motivation to have documented the progression on a nauseating Instagram Reel so here is some good old fashion Before and After pictures.
The floor was Rach’s idea and an absolute pain in the arse to do. That took around four weeks but we are happy with the result.
The Dart Board was a $30 dollar Aldi middle aisle dream and has already made great work of chipping the stencilled paintwork on the floor.
The bar itself is the centrepiece. It is from a local online retailer called Facebook Marketplace. As is often the case with these things we had to drive too far to get it and due to its size we had to ask Rach’s Dad to drive his van for an 80 minute round trip which for him was “quite inconvenient” and “not the way he wanted to spend his birthday”.
So a complete transformation into a tiki sports bar but I must say when down there, it still has the exact same vibe of just drinking cans in a garage. But importantly those cans are now cold due to the bar fridge. Aldi strikes again.